http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rDaLugULcg

so what
they tell me to bury you
stuff you in an envelope

I've been trying to write my rapture
for almost a year now
it's felt like jerking at a lawnmower
the sputtering coughs of the engine
blue balling me
jerking and jerking
until my shoulder dislocates

see? see how funny that is?
remember when I dislocated my shoulder?
do you know why that happened?

and then I'll hold the cord in my teeth
pulling and writhing, waiting for the neck to go next

that's how it always is with these girls
my girls

they told me to bury you
you are making me sick now

but that's how it is

Alex and I sat at a poetry show
crying over the cords around our necks

He and I have promised each other so many times
that we could give our nails the slip

I've got a special metal plate vrrrring behind my eyes

and I am seeing the pattern
that "CRAAAAZY" seems to be the minus to my plus

I give, you take

And when Alex and I were
on the phone the other day
comparing the threads
tightdressing our throats

I said

The worst feeling
is that you have to know
about the choke

I am absolutely sure
that you can tell
when you've slapped me into a tailspin

I'm trying to figure out

how big my slice of your day is
when you've ecclipsed mine
does a crying, chainsmoking Emanuel
ever come up on shuffle

does it ever cloud you, even a little bit
how horrible
how terrible

I'm too scared of death to keep secrets
It's why I write poems so much

It's why I can't pretend
that certain things are not precious to me

and if I could eat potatoes
and be happy
then spuds it would be

but it's only knives that
keep my dick hard
these days

trying to follow the pieces back
to find out where this shit came from

but in the mean time
I am lonely
and I like sharp girls

and you are gutting
ripping through
idling time until your Big Love
can come and satisfy you

until then, I guess
you can unstring me, curious, bored
and peek at the insides of my skin

and blush the color of my blood
covering your cheeks and teeth

treat every piece of my quaking heart
like a sunflower seed

what am I to you