bump

http://emanuelwrites.blogspot.com/2009/05/passion-pit_31.html

ways and things:
where we never get tired of second-person

[i 'unno]

at least I'll be honest about my lying:
I hide poems from you.

I tuck them away like buzzing phones during sex
push them back in, like garbage pressing from inside a bulging closet
bulging like my my cheeks while trying to wrap these appetent words in my tongue

shrugging like "[i 'unno]" with mouth and eyes full
of things I just can't let stream out

lest they damper our fine run

lest they make this tightrope too slippery

Get up.

I'm always trying to make eye contact
when your looks are running away

it's like how I try hardest
when a back is turning my way

I think if your eyes
hit me back
while I was trying to connect

it would set these lids on fire

or I feel that way. I don't actually think it,
because that's a stupid thing to think.
but it feels that way, it is a terrifying prospect.

I think I know why you would never let our eyes lock:
because it's asking too much of you

"I'm not that good of a liar. this is way out of contract"

I know, I know
there's a limit to how much you can portray;
that those fingers love mine
as much as mine do yours

but you know, you know
I like to pretend too

I'm sorry for teasing the curtain
I'll behave, I promise

now, say it again. say it for me.

forge me another smile

like a sweet food
for pleasing my mouth

before the light can hit it
having the heat
turn its hollow insides out

hey

you, hook crooked into the gums of my Will
jerk me up and out
of socks and shoes

I have a blueprint in my bag,
designs for a "Thank You"
much more illustrious than what
the meager supplies I currently possess could construct faithfully

so here it is:
a placeholder

a little wooden figure
stuck together with spit
by my fumbly hands

they'll steady one day
and the ode they'll sing...

just you wait!
you'lll see!

warp records

one by one
they came straight out of her mouth
brushed my ears
stuck my eyes
rested on my chest
where my arms could wrap and hold them tight

"they shake me deaf and dumb"

I showed her exactly how to do it
with tongue lolling
head hanging back

her affection was a hammock
for my heart
tied between my balls
on a string that flicked
in and out like
old tv

"it was so clear to me, that it was [] invisible"

they were beautiful

for so much time
they crawled into cuddled into my hungry arms
like little children dolls

as moons and days seasons and paths passed

I stood there, sight warped around her face
loved by the sand of her voice

while her hands brushed against and through other legs
in what was dark to me

while other fingers
cowled around her shoulder and collar

beautiful gorgeous gifts
with my name all over them
emanated

"wretching pennies in a boiling well"

the figures in my hands
began to fit oddly against one another
warping in the heat

until they began to split apart
like flowers
or scabs

and her shape remained the same
but the colors sickened

and her teeth began to be sung out to me too
and they submerged into my skin
and twirled themselves
fanged drills burrowing into veins
flinging in the currents
till they could sink into
where it all came from
she wants it all

she has plenty of rows
for motherfuckers like me

and when they sink
I will, too

under the weight of these splitting damning twisting words
barbed in my embrace

this is a funeral.
this poem is a eulogy

NOT ON MY WATCH

and I am watching now

wai
nah
no
ah'm
nah't
y're
duhn

get oudda my sight
get offa my buddy list
get oudda my contacts

over,
again

"the next time you say forever"

the next time you say never
I will kiss you on your face
/
just because you didn't mean it
doesn't mean I won't believe it

---
but that's what you were banking on, hunh?

lyrics I wrote for my noisy garage psych pop band from california, Black Bats

waste my head in a line of smoke
you ain't got what I need
to feed these hands

chase my head in a wood of smoke
will you meet me there?
could you meet me there?

waste my head in a line of smoke
how come I breathe so true
in this case

chase my head in a wood of smoke
now come and bleed yr
worries to me

this case
don't leave no room
for bullshit

this case
just takes
your heart's first bones

this case
don't leave no room
for bullshit

this case
just takes
and takes
and takes

it all
just takes
and takes
and takes