a bowl of Water or the edge of Glory

[celestial kingdom]

in the book "Matthew," of the book "The Holy Bible"
the ninth verse of the sixteenth chapter states "And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven:
and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven:
and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."

'Whose is the hand that I will hold?
Whose is the face I will see?
Whose is the name that I will call
When I am called to meet thee?'

soft!
at this death eatery
he is passing away
a dolo morsel

a drying bone
there is a Woman,
dead a long time,

She has been a mountain range
in his memory
leading all the way to this horizon
right into the sun

'In this life who did you love
Beneath the drifting ashes?
Beneath the sheeting banks of air
That barrenly bore our rations?'

he says to Her
"you used to poke me
and whisper to me in the middle of the night
to tell me things that you'd just thought of
that you thought were so funny

now i wish i spoke the language of soil and wind better
so that i could perhaps laugh again
instead of cry
when woken by you"

he says
"i forgot how hard it is being the only black mormon"

'When I could speak it was too late
Didn't you hear me calling?
Didn't you see my heart leap like
A pup in the constant barley?'

they mention to him
that life is long
he says "i am aware"
they can see then that they have scalped him for the night
and perhaps most the next day

his second and third wives emma, carol
they see
when he's weight-lifting a smile

they are not broken

when they make love
it is giving

but their husband
is a donut

he is not lying
when he says why he has not been sealed, Eternally wed, to them
yet

to raise the population of his section of the celestial kingdom past two.
((well, at that point in time, past one (She has been waiting, patiently).)

he does not necessarily believe he is lying
when he tells emma
that perhaps one day, he will be ready

carol has never really thought it to be true
she just
loves him enough

to let death do them part.

he has a daughter
with his second wife
his daughter loves him
his daughter loves mother more
his daughter cannot stay
here
or Ever

at a certain point, he never sees his daughter again

emma leaves first
takes daughter with
emma does not wish to die here

soon after
carol, too, finds the house too big
or small
to love even the loveliest donut

tongue always slips into his hole
one can only kiss a void
so many times
before the crumble becomes them


'In this new life where did you crouch
When the sky had set to boiling?
Burnin' within; seen from without
And your gut was a serpent coiling'

when Her earthly body has the life struck from it
it is in front of him
they are twenty
inconsidering
he'll need decades to figure out
the right last words to her

they are:

"if the demons snarl at You
with their debilitating asses

tell them niggas
who You is

the One,
the Queen,
the Axis

if the demons snarl at you
with their de-magnifying glasses

tell them niggas
who you is

the One,
the Queen,
the Axis"

but in the moment
it is a solitary choke.

and Her last words
were a jumble of teeth
vibrating
from an exclamation point

Her mouth wouldn't make it open
until it already had no light behind it

'Stand here and name the one you loved
Beneath the drifting ashes
And in naming, rise above time
As it, flashing, passes'

when the man passed away
he did not remember the name of the Person
he was going to see

but his hands and eyes were open
when they found Him

~